An important note before we start: this is a joke. It contains no instructions for anything. If you came here for instructions, we refer you to Rick (see below), who doesn't have any either.
The muni cart has some things in common with a modern golf cart, mostly the four wheels.
It's gas-powered. It smokes a little at startup, like a retiree, and a lot going uphill, like a retiree. The seat has been repaired with duct tape that is now structural. The cupholder holds nothing, because it's cracked, and the crack was there in 2011. The horn sounds like a goose giving up.
There's also a governor, the small device that keeps the cart from going faster than a brisk walk. It's the most discussed and least understood piece of machinery at the course.
The Legend
Every muni regular knows a guy who can take the governor off a cart.
The guy is always Rick.
Rick has been saying this since 1998. Rick says it in the parking lot. Rick says it at the turn. Rick says it while a cart he's driving creeps up a hill at a speed you could beat with a pull cart. "You know," Rick says, "I could make this thing fly."
Rick has never made anything fly. As far as anyone can tell, Rick has never even opened the seat. But the possibility of Rick is what keeps the legend alive. Every muni needs a Rick, the same way every town needs a guy who says he almost went pro.
Field Signs of a "Modified" Cart
Muni golfers claim they can spot a cart that's been "looked at." The signs include:
- It's parked slightly apart from the others, like it knows something.
- The cart barn kid avoids eye contact with it.
- It has a number on the side that skips a number. (There is no Cart #13. There has never been a Cart #13. Don't ask.)
- It makes a noise like a lawn mower having a breakthrough.
None of these signs mean anything. They're folklore. They're campfire stories for the cart path.
The Haunting of Cart #22
At our home muni there's a cart that's said to haunt the 14th hole. It's Cart #22. People say it was "looked at" sometime in the early 2000s and has never been the same. They say if you take it out late in the afternoon on twilight rate, it'll go up the hill on 14 at a speed no cart should go, without anyone pressing the pedal.
The truth is that the hill on 14 goes down. Everybody knows this. But the story is better told in the dark, in October, with a hot dog, so nobody corrects it.
The Truth About the Governor
Here's the secret. The governor isn't really on the cart. It's in you.
It's the reason you wave the faster group through. It's the reason you drive the path on 90-degree days. It's the reason you don't take the hill on 14 like it's Daytona, even though you could, and even though Rick would be so proud.
The governor is a state of mind, and a muni golfer has one. That's how the carts last 20 years, how the greens survive, and how the cart barn kid keeps his job.
Rick is still talking about it. Rick is always talking about it. That's fine. Let him.
Stay on the path. Watch out for #22.